Monday, 10 February 2020

The Blame Game

The Blame Game

On LinkedIn, I saw a very inspiring message from a good friend,  with a quote from Carl Jung. 

After I responded, the subject stuck in my mind. It inspired me to write this short column.

Once I was a witness in a situation where people were talking about the relationship between parents and children. 
At a certain point, someone shared some information about her father, who, as she pointed out, was frugal in complimenting her. It was apparent she was very disappointed, almost to the point of being angry. 

As the conversation continued, someone asked her if she was a type of mother who complimented her children? And her answer was astonishing. It was not necessary to give compliments, as it was obvious enough that she, as a mother appreciated her children. 

People often do not admit what they have as bad habits. But they see these weaknesses extra sharply in someone else and condemn the other person without any mercy. This behavior is called mirroring.

It was Carl Jung who said it first: “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Everyone is our mirror. Our reflection in others shows us not only who we are, but also how to be better.

The woman in the example was very irritated about her father, who was sparing in giving compliments, but when the same issue came up in the conversation, this time about how she was dealing with her children in giving compliments, she suddenly changed her mind and said it was more than evident that she loved her children, so there was no need to give compliments. 

It is up to us how we deal with the mirror that is presented to us.
We can put on some make-up ( masquerade ) or face the truth in ourselves and become a better person by acknowledging it and work on it. 

Be Buzzzzy and be Awesome!

Dr. Cathy Meijer D'Vorah Coaching

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